Adam B's blog

QotD: Getting to Know You

What question do you ask when you really want to get to know someone better?

wanna fuck?

Chicago Pics

Since it is a royal pain in the ass to upload pictures onto this site... I mean, relatively...  Facebook sizes them for you... I am only uploading a couple of my favorite shots from Chicago.  I've come to terms with the fact that my photography is shit, so there are only a couple of pictures I actually liked.

1. Hooray for smoking rooms!  Have you ever taken a bath with a cigarette?  Like taking a shower with a glass of wine... marvelous.

2. Hooray for dingy bars like The Empty Bottle!  This was where the sweet reading was at and where Bite, the tasty, tasty was adjacent to.

3. Hooray for snow! Especially on nights spent wandering uptown Chicago in search of an El station.  It took a couple of hours, but it was fun anyway.

4. Hooray for allies! They are few and far between in my city.  There's one in Fallbrook where I smoke cigarettes and drink from a flask (since the bar which I'm taking a moment from charges $8 for a shot of Jack Daniels) and that's nice... but not like Chicago's. Even their fire escapes were cool.

5. Waiting in the cold for something to eat, Kim, Jenn, and I decided to pause for the camera.

Chicago 2

Today was fun. Running the table was fun, I met a few writers who assumed I was the editor of 1913 and had the pleasure (?) of hearing about what they were trying to get published.  I walked around the hundred+ tables of publishers, writing programs, and university presses collecting info on MFAs, buying literary journals, and snagging as much swag as I could. From noon till four, I was enjoying the community of writers swarming around the bookfair below the Hilton. 
Jenn, one of the crue, and I decided that we wanted some Chicago pizza and headed to Pequod's, a highly regarded pizzaria in the middle of the city. Hoe Lee Shit. A pepperoni and black olive pan pizza and a pitcher of Fat Tire made me a happy, happy boy. It was a fucking amazing pizza.
Since we paid a $20 cab fare to dinner, we decided to walk to the L to chepen our ride home.  During our walk, it began to snow. It was beautiful.  We walked through one of Chicago's shopping districts in search of the L's platform and ended up wandering through the city for two hours, following the elevated tracks, until we finally found the platform we needed.  Neither of us minded the adventure.
Our attempt at a chep trip to the hotel wound up being a three and a half hour journey through several districts of Chicago.  I enjoyed it--so did Jenn.  If she weren't married, I think I'd be in persuit.
When we got back to the hotel, we headed straight to the pub and drank. A few beers and a couple of shots later, it was two AM and I headed back to my hotel.  Good times, good talking... damn that ring on her finger.

Chicago 1

This place is cool, although I haven't had the opportunity to really see the city.  Most of my time's been spent at the conference in panels, running Sandra's publication (1913) table, or smoking cigarettes outside in the brisk, brisk Chicago air. 

Last night, when my flight came in, I hopped onto the L and shot downtown and then hiked a few blocks to my hotel.  I checked in and, the sweetest part, I asked for a room with ashtrays. I love smoking in doors, just not at my own house.  Its a single room on the 12th floor, the top of the building, with a king size bed, a desk, and two windows that open only a couple of inches.

Once settled, I wandered around the park bundled up in two coats and a scarf and then found a pub to drink in until my classmates were ready to go out for dinner.  When they were all set to go, we met me outside where I was thrilled to flag my first taxi! A feeling of power runs through the arm that lures a taxi to the curb. 

The cab dropped us off to an excellent dinner at Frontera. The best Mexican food I've had outside of Southern California.  At Frontera, my three classmates--lets give them a collective title... the crue-- At Frontera, the crue and I were joined by Sandra and her husband Ben where we discussed the conference and what 1913 was setting up at the table.

After dinner the crue and I went back to the pub and continued to drink our jetlag into oblivion.  Needless to say, I slept like the comatose.

Thismorning, I woke up around ten, got ready and headed to the conference. Nothing noteworthy at the conference, although the bathrooms at the Hilton were fucking lovely.  Black marble, golden flush handles, sconce light fixtures... classy.

I headed back to my room to work on some homework around four or five, then headed out to North Chicago for a reading at The Empty Bottle, where, if I lived in Chicago, I'd spend much time.  It's a gnarly hole in the wall venue that has music seven nights a week. Everything from jazz to punk to indie... bad ass joint for sure.

The reading was really cool because the only people that knew about it were a small number of poets and their friends.  Ben Doller, Sandra's hubby, read his work and I was impressed, although I shouldn't be since he is published.  Not to mention the reading was great because of the other poets who read... I found some names to follow... Forrest Gander, G.E. Patterson.

Afterwords, the crue and I ate at Bite.  The food was great and the service was slow, but the prices were like Denny's prices, so I didn't mind the service. Besides, there was only one server for the packed diner.  When dinner was finnished, we hopped into a cab to go back to the hotel.  When we climbed in, we gave the driver our destination and he flipped a bitch and then got pulled over. 

As the crue and I were sitting in the back of the cab, the cop approached the driver, asked for his license and cabbie certification.  Obviously the Uturn was illegal, however, our cabbie's cabbie license was four years expired!! The cop threatened our driver with a night in jail, kept his expired license, gave him a ticket for the illegal U-ie, and since we were in the middle of transit, the cop let the driver finish his route for the night.

Yeah. It's good.  

Mrrrr...

Like the kid who couldn't afford Disneyland... I just don't wanna hear it.

Itinerary

Wednesday, February 11:
American Airlines Flight #1430
Depart: San Diego, CA (LAX) 9:50 AM
Arrive: Chicago, Ill (ORD)

[The Association of Writers & Writing Programs Annual Conference @ Hilton Chicago]

Sunday, February 15:
American Airlines Flight #2079
Depart: Chicago, Ill (ORD) 8:45 AM
Arrive: San Dieco, CA (LAX)

!!!

Moving Hands from Mouths to Hearts

-Lilian, I want to talk to you about something. Guy paused and took a deep breath, holding it longer than normal.  But, here... he took her hand and held it against his chest, right over his heart. Feel that?

-Yeah.

-I'm a little nervous. He looked at Lilian's dark eyes and long lashes, their youth big and bright on her inquiring face. She took her hand from over Guy's fluttering heart and asked what he's thinking. Well, Lil... he paused again, the silence so loud he found his thoughts being distracted from leaving his tongue. The last thing I want is for anything to threaten our relationship--our friendship.  We've known each other for nearly six years and we've seen each other both running and crawling through our lives.  We've seen each other broken and we've seen each other restored. Everything that we've been through these years, we have experienced together.

Lilian was laying on her stomach beside Guy and rolled to her side to face him as he developed his sentences.  He wasn't his usual confident self, his speech broken by hesitation and extreme care in word choice.  Obviously he had something on his mind that shook him into this foreign character.  He fell into a pause again and Lilian took the chance to reassure him she was attentive to what he was saying.  We have, she said.

Guy breathed deep again, Fuck it. I'll just say it. Guy clutched the pillow beneath his body and, from his belly, turned to face Lily.  This past month, the time we've been spending with one another has meant so much to me.

-Me too, encouraged Lily.

-But more than usual.  Lily, I really like you and not until you came home had I realized what a truly beautiful and unique and matured human you are.  I mean... he cleared his throat and squirmed a bit on his side... I think that you and I share something unbelievable, a friendship of astounding strength and honesty, something that I look for in a woman I want to be with beyond friendship.

Lily dropped her head onto the pillow under her and looked up, away from Guy. I agree, she said. We do have something uncommon.

-And as I noticed these feelings I have, my friends noticed them too. And I hold the advice and opinions of my friends with my faith in the friendship.  Friendship balances on the fulcrum of communication where talking about and talking to each other meet.  Rob and Shel both gave me perspective on how I act around you, pointing out nuances in me that change.  Guy shifted once again, setting his hand as a stand beneath his head, still facing Lilian.  They asked me why we aren't dating and I couldn't give them a good answer.

Lily looked back to Guy, studying his features, how he held a single brow above the other and how his eyes bounced over hers searching for a response. I, uh... I don't know what to say. She returned to looking away from Guy. 

-I just wanted to let you know that this is how I feel.  Are you against the idea of us making something more of our relationship?  I'm not expecting us to leave this conversation with some sort of label or anything...

-No, I know, she interrupted.  I don't have anything to say, which is most certainly not saying no. Looking back to Guy, Lilian continued, something was said to me and it got me thinking too.  Guy's lips parted and gave way to a smile, his body not nearly as tense and his features relieved. 

-So you're not against the idea?

-No, she said, I'm not.

-I guess that leaves my worry of mutuality with either yes or maybe. Guy breathed deep once more and smiled again, I'm glad.

-Me too, she said. Wanna cigarette?

-Yes I do.  With that, Guy grabbed his American Spirits and Zippo and jacket to step into the chilling night air with Lilian close behind, reaching for his available hand. 

Shining Bright

Last month I was invited to dinner by my coworker, Katie.  I've known and worked with Katie for nearly five years and she and I have always gotten along well.  She's a flower child of the sixties and I embrace the movement she was involved in... so we naturally click.  The dinner was to take place at her home with her husband, daughter, and another family that we both know from work as well.  The dinner was meant to take place tonight, but I got a text from Katie saying that it had been canceled because her daughter, Larkin, was sick.  Understanding, I sent her a text saying thank you so much for the invitation anyway and I sent Larkin a text telling her to feel better.  Larkin responded soon saying, "you should come over for drinks and chit-chat." Figuring she was feeling well enough to hang out with me, not necessarily with an entire dinner party, I headed over to her home after work.

When I arrived, Katie answered the door with a strange look on her face, like, "what the fuck are you doing here?"

Assuming that Larkin just didn't tell anyone that she invited me over, Katie had me come in and we hung out for a while with her husband talking, drinking, and waiting for Larkin to get out of the shower.

Through the rest of the evening, we all sat around the kitchen with wine and hors d'ouvres having a truly pleasant time. 

Eventually, Katie and her husband left for bed, so Larkin and I stayed in the kitchen talking for about an hour then headed out for a smoke, where we stayed for another twenty minutes or so.

I made my goodbye and thanked Larkin for having me over and headed home.

While I was driving home, I checked my messages and realized that Larkin had texted me earlier that day... actually, it was a text she sent me right before the text inviting me over for 'drinks and a chit-chat.'

This newfound text, however, made me feel like a complete and udder idiot -- it was the first half of the invitation text.  This message placed Larkin's invitation in a completely new context by thanking me for the well-wish and then saying "when I'm feeling better..." The rest of the message came as text number two, making the full message, "when I'm feeling better... you should come over for drinks and a chit-chat."

Apparently I was not invited over, rather I knocked on the unsuspecting door, inviting myself in for appetizers and wine.

Adam's Albums of 2008

This is a list of albums that I discovered/re-fell in love with this year.

I was thinking of hacking Kirstin's post from her and doing the same thing, but I realized that my music knowledge is rarely 'up-to-date,' and the music I find often has been on shelves for some time.

So, these are the albums that helped give 2008 some musical definition and who/where/how I came across them...

Aesop Rock- None Shall Pass
(Rob took me to an Aesop show and I had a lot of fun. This guy is good.)

Andrew Bird- Andrew Bird and the Mysterious Production of Eggs
                     Armchair Apocrypha
                     Noble Beast
(Rob has been monumental in turning me on to music I'd never listened to.  Earlier this semester Rob treated my earbuds to the wonderful Mr. Bird)

Band of Horses- Everything All the Time
(Rob)

Beach Boys- Pet Sounds
(Re-fell in love)

Black Keys- Magic Potion
(94.9 and all its glory)

Black Mountain- Black Mountain
(Kirstin's recommendation)

Bob Dylan- Blond on Blond
                  Bringing it All Back Home
                  Desire
(Re-fell in love)

Bob Marley- Kaya
                    Trenchtown Rock Anthology
(Re-fell in love/Kirstin's copy of Trenchtown Rock Anthology)

Carol King- Tapestry
(I copied this from Penny at work... she hooked me up with a number of great albums)

Chubby Checker- Selftitled
(Rob)

CocoRosie- La Maison De Reve
(My friend Mike from school had me listen to the single off of this album and I fell in love)

Coheed & Cambria- Second Stage Turbine Blade
                             In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3
                             Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume I: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness
                             Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume II: No World for Tomorrow
(Neverender was an amazing experience and these albums shaped its precedent weeks)

David Bowie- The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars
(Re-fell in love)

Death Cab for Cutie- The Photo Album
                                 Something About Airplanes
(I just love Death Cab and didn't have these albums. Glad I do.)

Deerhunter- Cryptograms
                    Microcastle
(Rob. Deerhunter... the kind of band I should have been listening to a long time ago)

Donovan- Sunshine Superman
(Rob/Re-fell in love. I've known Donovan's music, but never his albums)

Ellis- Undefended Heart
(I heard of Ellis through Morgan at the Women's Center.  She's a great, folky, live performer with an amazing voice.)

Frank Zappa- Chunga's Revenge
(I'll credit this to Kirstin's friend Barnaby. I saw Zappa in his record collection and wanted to have some too.)

Fred Jones- Life & Wine
(Losing Ray early this summer set his album into full rotation in my music catalogue)

Gogol Bordello- Super Tantra!
(Erin. She mentioned it. I bought it. I experienced it... and I want more!!!)

Grateful Dead- American Beauty
(Re-fell in love)

I Monster- Neveroddoreven
(Charlotte and I dropped acid to this... a good, happy mind fuck at times)

Jay-Z+ DJ Danger Mouse- The Grey Album
(Someone at work mentioned this to me... DJ Danger Mouse mixed The Beatles's The White Album with Jay-Z's The Black Album, and gave us The Grey Album.)

Jeff Buckley- Grace
(94.9's The Big Sonic Chill)

Kings of Leon- Only by the Night
(I've followed Kings of Leon for a while and this album is beautiful!)

Lil' Wayne- The Carter III
(Garret/Jaeger listen to Lil' Wayne a lot, and I've grown fond of his words... he is a true wordsmith)

MGMT- Oracular Spectacular
(94.9 did an interview with these guys and I dug their sound... this album is great.)

Neil Young- Live at Massey Hall
(I found video clips of this on Youtube and learned it's a recorded album. To me... this is the difinitive Neil Young. Him, a piano, and a guitar.)

The New Pornographers- Challengers
(Rob. Much homework was worked on to this album.)

Nine Inch Nails- Pretty Hate Machine
(Re-fell in love)

Radiohead- Gagging Order
                    In Rainbows
(I randomly found Gagging Order and it fulfills two loves... Radiohead and acoustic albums.)

Sigur Rós- Með Suð í Eyrum Við Spilum Endalaust
(I caught wind of their new album from 9.49 and stole it before it was released. It's just fucking beautiful)

Silversun Pickups- Pikul
(94.9)

Slightly Stoopid- Live and Direct
(Re-fell in love)

TV on the Radio- Dear Science
(Rob)

Ween- Quebec
(I looked into Ween after I hear Kirstin raving about them... and I must say, "Rave-worthy")

There might be a couple I've missed, but, most definitely, these albums shaped and molded my 2008 musical feast.

 

 

... continued

I was just 'talked to' by my mom for my behavior.

According to mother, as in the case with my uncle Jeff, I need to learn to swallow the bullshit that my relatives serve for dinner.

I still say "fuck that." Sure... I love them for raising me into the youngster I was, but they are in no way responsible for raising me into the ?man? I have become and I don't think I owe them the respect they feel they deserve.

If it comes down to 'walking on eggshells' around me, then fine. They are the only people I know who feel that way, therefore it's their own fucking problem.  None of my friends, coworkers, classmates, select relatives feel like they need to watch what they say around me. 

I don't feel like I need to watch what I say around my family, save sailor talk, nor do I feel like I should.  They have no problem running their damn mouths, why should I?